"Keeping It Simple" is a book by Bob Hickle that describes what he as a non-alcoholic learned and experienced from 40 years of befriending and then counseling alcoholics and their families.  Originally published as a series of 5 booklets between 1976 and 1980, that have been updated, edited and republished under one cover.  Order the book directly from the publisher by clicking the book cover at the right.

Sample Chapters:

THE DECISION TO QUIT & THE DRINK

Paradoxically, it appears that the alcoholic makes a decision to quit drinking while still drinking.  Not the usual Monday morning, “I’ll never take a drink as long as I live,” decision but the surrender necessary to find real sobriety.

The corollary decision to resume drinking or relapse after a period of sobriety is made while not drinking, and then they seek a way to justify beginning again.

Since one decision is made while sober and one while drinking, it may be that alcohol has little or nothing to do with the decision making is this regard.  One might say that the pain of drinking makes one decision possible, and the pain of not drinking makes the decision to begin again possible.

"WHAT"--NOT "WHY?"

          One of the smoothest ways alcoholics can con a counselor into not coming to grips with their problems is to get the counselor in a discussion of "why?"  "Why do you suppose I drink?"  "Why do I get drunk sometimes and not others?"  "Why are some people alcoholics and not others?"  Why don't other people understand me like you do?"  The counselor lays some wisdom on the alcoholic and goes home to work in their garden while the alcoholic goes out and gets drunk.

          It is only when we keep our eyes steadfastly on the "what" that we make any progress.  I am sure there is a legitimate alcoholism field in which the scientist and researchers can ask "why," but for those of us on the firing line, there simply isn't time.

          "What happens when you drink?"  "What does your spouse say about your drinking?"  "What does your boss say when you call in with the flu for the third time in a month?"  With questions like these, we can save a lot of time, cut through a lot of nonsense, and maybe keep from being conned by experts.  Maybe the best question of all is, "What are you doing here in my office if you don't have a problem?"

The corollary to the counselors' position is that the alcoholics must stop asking themselves "why," and get on with the "what."  Doctors treat cancer without asking why the patient has cancer.  Clergypersons pray with sinners without asking why they sinned.  Lawyers defend clients without knowing why they committed the crime.

          Someday, maybe we'll know the "why?" of alcoholism.  In the meantime, we must deal with the "what?"

ALCOHOLICS LIE A LOT

          A superficial observation of alcoholics' behavior reveals a phenomenon that for lack of a better word we call "lying."  It sometimes seems that they will lie when it is easier to tell the truth.  The whole fabric of their lives seems to be interwoven with lies--how much they drank, what happened to the money, why they didn't get home when they said they would, why the job didn't get done--the list is endless.  The beneficiary of this erroneous information simply dismisses alcoholics as liars, and lets it go at that.

          If we would really understand alcoholics, we can't get off that easily.  At first, our examination of these lies seems to indicate that they are told for the same reason that most lies are told: to avoid the consequences of our actions, to be able to do something we want to do, for personal benefits of various kinds, and to protect ourselves from threats.  The alcoholic lies for all these reasons, but the careful observer sees something more.

We are baffled when alcoholics insist that they are not lying, when it becomes obvious as can be that they are lying.  They become angry, hostile and confused when we insist that they are lying.

          Let's approach it from a different angle.  We know that when alcoholics are drinking, their perceptions are distorted.  What we refer to as "alcoholic thinking" occurs regularly.  I recall taking an alcoholic to a hospital whom insisted all the way that he couldn't be an alcoholic because there was always milk in the refrigerator for the kids.  This makes as much sense as insisting that one cannot have cancer because there was always food on the table!  Remember, however, that it made perfect sense to the alcoholic.

This man was sober by our usual standards when we went through this exercise, but he was still thinking like an alcoholic.  We must conclude, then, from this and many other observations, that alcoholic thinking does not stop when the alcoholic stops drinking.  I have no idea how long it takes most alcoholics to get their thinking straight, but I would say that it takes six months for many alcoholics, and in some cases, a couple of years.  Some of the brain damage is permanent, and affects alcoholics' behavior for life.

          Now, if we look at the behavior we have called "lying," we see that from the altered perceptions of the alcoholic, it is the absolute truth.  They do drink because their spouse nags them about their drinking, the boss simply doesn't appreciate their contributions, they do intend to cut down on their drinking, and they have no idea why they went on another bender when they promised they would stop with two drinks.

          We still don't accept their excuses.  We still hold their feet to the fire and talk about what happens when they drink, still patiently and firmly point them toward reality when they would rather live in a world of alter perceptions.  But we don't call them "liars".

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